The Struggles that I'm Facing with my Assignments

Hey everybody. I thought that it would be appropriate to make this post at a present time because I have been struggling with a lot of materials in my arts program, STAC. I feel like STAC could help me to become a better learner of art that I could apply to other fields of study, but I just have to learn to accept the help from other people and not counteract with how I think that their help should be given to me or if there help is relevant or not to me and how to get that across in a not-so harsh way. I have been told by my teacher that writing blogs is supposed to be you're coming up with the idea as you are writing and trying to find yourself in the disciplines that you learned about pertaining to what the developing idea that you're blogging about.

I'm thinking that the problem with me is I'm too afraid to just let things happen. Too afraid to let go. Too afraid to break free from mission control center (aka my brain). I have been struggling with this problem ever since the beginning of high school and before, along with some others which I may talk about later. Almost every time I'm faced with a problem, I go through my mind of what I think I can do to achieve it and sometimes ideas cross and I over think about what the teachers and the students want, instead of what I want. This is also the case when I have to deal with when giving my opinion about something. I know what an opinion is defined as, but I feel like whenever I give mine in a writing or in front of a group of people, I want it to be very insightful which then leads to more over thinking. I have breakdowns over this one thing for not knowing the right time to do it, but I've learned to co-op with it over the years.

I keep on thinking that the problem with my blogging is that there are voices in my head always second guessing me, saying that it's not good enough or it won't be like the others or it won't measure up to the consent of other students, the teacher, or any other people who are reading this. I should really just be doing this for me, Although I can never seem to get that into my thick head, I still think about it a lot. It's either that or the legitimate excuse of just not getting to it. No matter what happens, I need to be more mentally responsible for getting everything in, even if it sucks. Another problem was always asking for help because I always felt that if you wanted to be mature, you had to be able to do things on your own. That mentality still blocks my thinking and I'm still trying to co-op with it also. I will try my best to further improve on this in the future, but for now, I just have to deal with the consequences and pray that I can do a better job next time the opportunity comes around. I'm also looking for feedback on ideas to help me overcome any of these blocks. Thank you.